I just left Jamba Juice with my friend, Kaye. She is one of my friends/mentors, and a strong encouragement in my life. We had quite the conversation, you know one of those where you fix the problems in the universe, and then at the end, something really cool happened. Without really thinking about it, I started talking about things in my life that frustrate me, things that hold me back, things that bother me, things that stifle me…and in the midst of that, I found something amazing.

PASSION.

That’s how I like to live life! All in and full out…it is the only way to live life! You may say that there’s another way, but can we really call that living? This life is meant to be lived! Right now, my friend, Kent, is over in Africa living life all in.

“Yeah, but, you don’t have to go to Africa to really live,” you might say.

Correct. But he is living his dream right now! Are you?

In your life, you will continually be faced with two big questions.

“What should I do?” and “What do I want?”

Without a doubt, there are some things you should do that you need to do even if you don’t want to do. Matters of moral integrity, cleanliness, kindness, yes these are things you should do.

What about passion though? I believe people rarely find passion doing what they should. They find passion in living out what their heart really wants. Living for something bigger than themselves. Living all in and full on not caring what anybody thinks about them because they are living with faith, courage, and the seed of a dream in their heart is being realized.

During lent, I’m going to step away from blogging. I am going to use the time on my blog or on facebook to really seek God with all I’ve got. I will also be working on my book in this season. I want to live more in tune with his purposes and passion in my life. I plan on doing a lot of living during the lent season.

If you visit this blog during lent, there is some reading that is far better for you that you can read here.

So you have dreams? What are they? You want to see great things happen? What do you want to do? Isn’t it time to live big and bold? To live it fearlessly?

I encourage you to go after it. And remember, the only way to live life is all in and full out!

I am not sure why we feel lonely. Lonely is the feeling that you might actually be alone.Or that you feel impoverished relationally. And so when we are lonely, we internally are aware that something is absent. Something is missing. If something wasn’t missing, we wouldn’t feel this way. 

Sometimes, I feel lonely. Sometimes, I’m in a crowd of people and feel lonely. Sometimes, I’m with people I know and love, people who know me and love me, and I still feel lonely. Lonely has this way of showing up on at just the wrong time.

How many decisions do we wish we could take back that we made when we were lonely? How many marriages end because the spouse feels lonely?                                                     How many great legacies were destroyed because someone acted out while lonely?

The question arises then, “Is lonely a bad thing?” And the answer generally comes back, “Yes, lonely is a really bad thing.” So what should I do about it? “I will change my life so I won’t be lonely.”

But what happens when you make life changes, and still the aches of loneliness set in. What do you do then? Keep as many plates spinning as possible so you won’t have to deal with the pangs of loneliness? Text as many people as possible to get a reply back? Mindlessly zone out on the internet as you surf the surface level of culture for hours on end?

All this is done in the name of ending loneliness. I would guess that we are betting that something can either satisfy the pangs of loneliness, or at least numb them. What if the satisfaction is temporary? And numb, is that really working? What does that cost you in the rest of your life?

So this loneliness, what do we do about it? I believe that loneliness is actually potential. Sometimes, the feeling of being alone though is so dark, that you miss the potential of loneliness. After all, potential means it is sitting on the shelf. And if you don’t utilize the potential of loneliness, then loneliness will consume you. Here is where the potential of loneliness truly comes in.

1. Loneliness is an opportunity for you to grow closer to God. If you read the Psalms, the writers were actually very lonely. Take the psalmist, David, as an example. It seems like much of David’s life, he had hitman chasing him down, or he was king. There was even part of David’s life when he was king and being chased. How lonely does that feel? But David took advantage of the loneliness of his life from a young age when he played his harp. Yes, David spent many nights under the stars with sheep around him. Because David learned that loneliness was an opportunity to share with God, and to know him more fully, we possess the prayer book “Psalms” today. We wouldn’t otherwise.

2. Loneliness is an opportunity for friendship. One of the keys of friendship is vulnerability. Any relationship needs vulnerability. Without vulnerability, there is no foundation of real trust, or real relationship. Sharing with a friend exactly how you feel is key, because your sense of loneliness lets the other person into your life. Also, as you do, you may find out that you are not as alone as you thought you were.

3. Loneliness gives you a story to share. Someone you know is lonely right now. I guarantee it. Someone you are going to meet within the next five years will likely be in one of the loneliest places of their life. If you can share out of your story of loneliness, what would that do for that person? Wouldn’t that be incredible of your sense of loneliness when shared developed a friendship, helped them place their hope in God, and set them in a direction in life they never believed possible?

4. Loneliness reminds us we were created for more. As C.S. Lewis wrote in Mere Christianity, “If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy, I can only conclude that I was not made for here.” Loneliness reminds me that my soul aches for more than this world. That I am created for more than this. And nothing in this world can fully satisfy me, because I was created for God. Loneliness reminds me that the whole creation is groaning with hope to be liberated, redeemed, and restored by the Creator. I am welcome to join with the creation in groaning with hope for the day of emancipation when I will know God, even as I am fully known.

Yes, we will be lonely. But lonely doesn’t have to end in a bad place. Loneliness is an opportunity for your life to grow in love, trust, faith, and all this in hope.

The purposes of a man’s heart are deep waters, but a man of understanding draws them out. Proverbs 20:5

It’s Valentines Day. Duh. I guess you’re aware of that. But I thought I would write a little blog today on falling in love. Three years ago today, I broke up with Oklahoma City and moved to Tulsa. I fell in love with the city. I fell in love with my church. I fell in love with 20 Park. I fell in love with my friends. I fell in love with this whole thing.

I have ups and downs, but the reason I have stayed is because I was swept into something special here in Tulsa. I have no idea what the next twenty five years hold, but I am truly thankful for the last three years.

One of my friends asked one of my mentors, “How do you know when you’ve found the one.”

My mentor thought on it for a second and said, “You just…kind of…know. I’m sorry, I can’t tell you more.”

“What do you mean, you just kind of know.”

“Well, it’s like this. When you start showing up at all the same places, and you want to be with that person all the time, that’s how you know.”

I thought that sounded nice.

Well, it’s my three year anniversary with this city. What will I do? I will enjoy this day here. And I will live today to it’s fullest. I will live freely, and enjoy the love of God. I will allow myself to enjoy the passion that God has given me, and I will be filled with joy and led forth in peace.

If you’ve found that special someone, then may your heart be filled with love. If you’re still looking, relax (Valentine’s Day can be a bad day to start dating) and get back on the hunt tomorrow! If you’re heart is broken, may the peace of God that transcends understanding fill your heart with peace today.

Happy Valentines Day or to Tulsa from my heart, Happy Anniversary.

You and I are faced with a lot of challenges. Sometimes, you have a really challenging day. Sometimes, you have a really challenging week or even a month. Sometimes, you have a really challenging year. So the question I want to pose today is, “Where do you learn the most?”

I had a friend recently share that we learn the most in the valleys of life. It is there when we find struggle, when we find what is significant. The valleys create the opportunity for you and I to learn. At first, I agreed with my friend. Then, I gave more thought to it. I began to think about the mountain. When you are on top of the world, do you learn very much there? Many people will tell you no.

However, I am going to share something different today. I actually believe that you can learn just as much on the mountain as you do in the valley. The fact is that it is harder to learn on the mountain than when you’re in the valley. Why? Because, when you’re on top of the world, you might just kick back and take it easy. You might start thinking that you got to that place all by yourself with no help from God. That you deserve the top of the mountain because you’re just that great. And then you take it for granted. Once you’ve taken it for granted, you don’t get to stay on top of the mountain much longer. (I am not saying that if you are going through a valley, it is because you took the mountain for granted. That is not what this blog is about. We’ll go more in depth on the valley another time.)

The reason most people don’t learn very much at the top is because it is really hard to learn at the top. People tell you how great you are. People remind you of how wonderful you have it. Before long, you think you are the source of the good.

When you’re in the valley, you’re very aware of all the things that are going badly. You are aware of your struggle. So when you move through it, you find great joy in moving through the struggle. On the mountain though, the outside struggle is less. I would say that the struggle inside of you will be greater. So, when you’re on the mountain, how grateful are you? How do you show God your gratitude? How often do you look back to see how you got here, and truly examine the faithfulness of God, and your faithfulness to Him and the task He gave you that brought you here. You two are working together, you know?

The mountain becomes a very difficult place to learn. Only people who are very focused, thankful, and joy filled will appreciate the mountain for what it is. When they are there, they are often learning just as much as the person in the valley. Because things are good on the mountain, you have to work harder to learn there.

So where do you learn the most? You learn the most wherever you choose to learn the most. It is difficult to grind it out day after day at whatever level you are, and choose to learn. But isn’t it worth it? And wouldn’t it be nice to stay on the mountain a little while longer? To do that, you’re going to have to work hard to learn. And don’t forget where you came from. That’s why God always says, “Remember.” So that you and I are always more in love with the One who blesses us than the blessing that He has given us.