Every once in a while I’m a perfectionist. The true perfectionist would laugh at me and say, “If it’s only once in a while, then you’re not a perfectionist.” But there are a few things I am a perfectionist about. Within my ministry, I analyze things to death. (In the first year and a half, I filled two or three moleskins with every detail I could find about my ministry, and I would fill the rest of it with wisdom from outside sources). Sometimes this has been helpful, and other time’s a hindrance. I don’t analyze things as much as I used to though. Here is something I realized about myself recently though: I don’t have enough fun.

Seriously. See that? I describe my lack of fun with the word seriously. Now, I enjoy being with people and spending time with them, but as far as just having fun, there is often a nagging thought in the back of my mind. “What purpose will this fun serve?” Sometimes it is “Have I done enough to deserve having fun?”

Well, here is what I’ve learned. When I don’t create times for fun for myself, I don’t have a whole lot of fun in life. When that happens, I start going sour. So I go, go, go, go, go…and after all of that going, I am exhausted and frustrated. So I’ve started celebrating along the way. Here is the magic question I ask myself, and I ask others after sharing about doing hard work or reaching a goal.

How are you going to celebrate?

If having fun is new to you, then let me give you some ideas that worked for me.

Go to Sonic and buy yourself your favorite drink of choice. This is your own private celebration, or you can invite someone to join you.

Make a playlist on your iPOD or make a mixed CD that you listen to as celebration music.

Reward yourself with your favorite desert.

Or if you’re really bold, invite some friends to go celebrate with you. When you get to the restaurant of your choice, and they ask you what you’re celebrating, say to them,

“We are celebrating that I am changing my life, and in so doing changing the lives of my children, and their children in the process. I am creating a great life, and I am leaving a wonderful legacy for those behind me.”

Then have some fun with your friends. If you’ve been working hard, you deserve it. What about giving yourself permission to enjoy life? What could you gain by having fun more often? What would having fun give you inside? What would having fun give to those you care about? Do something and celebrate. That is how life goes when change is fun.

]]> http://davidskidmore.org/2012/01/26/when-change-is-fun/feed/ 2 daveskidmore http://davidskidmore.org/2012/01/25/the-key-to-change/ http://davidskidmore.org/2012/01/25/the-key-to-change/#comments Wed, 25 Jan 2012 15:42:52 +0000 David Skidmore http://davidskidmore.org/?p=486 Continue reading →]]> I’ve spent a lot of time on the treadmill lately. I set the treadmill on Calorie Burner, and away we go. Some days it is thirty minutes, other times twenty, or the quick run of fifteen minutes. What I’ve noticed is that I start my run with great vigor and intensity every day. This isn’t difficult to do. It also is not hard to finish my run in the final two minutes. Even if I’m tired, I see that I’m almost done and I will even speed the treadmill up a lot of the time. For a long time, I’ve used a phrase that worked better for my personality than it did for enacting change in my life.

“Start strong, finish strong.”

Well, the start and the finish aren’t very difficult. But are those two things to be the measurement of my workout. The start lasts from twenty minutes to eighteen minutes. The finish begins at two minutes and ends with a cool down. By using the start and the finish as my measurement, I am mentally ignoring sixteen minutes of my run. Sure, I go through those sixteen minutes, but how did I do those sixteen minutes? I’ve had times when I took a break in the middle in the most difficult part, then in the final two minutes of my workout, I speed up the treadmill and run harder to redeem the middle part of my run.

What I found on the treadmill is a mirror to my life. For much of my life, I have not valued the process. The process is the middle part, it is long, laborious, difficult, and it seems like it will not end. If I check out on the process, I am really dodging the most difficult thing in my life. Isn’t this how we imagine life will work?

I’ll get married, we’ll have a lot of fun in the middle, and then we’ll be even deeper in love when we’re old. (How often does this happen though? Particularly when there is more thought given to the wedding than the “how to” of living life as two people who have become one. It isn’t just fun in the middle. From what I understand, it is a lot of hard work.)

I’ve got a big idea for a ministry endeavor, and it could change everything in our church. (Are you preparing for the middle when you meet resistance, and people aren’t on board with you? Are you glossing over the focus of details and persistence because “there are more important things today” when you really just don’t want to deal with the process head on. Ouch. Preaching at myself now.)

I want to be a better friend. (So you work really hard at first on being a better friend, but what are you doing over the span of a few weeks or months to be a better friend? It’s more than just the fun events. Friendship is found in consistent caring, honesty, and loyalty.)

Here is a phrase I picked up from Steven Furtick that I have placed around my house at different times, preached to people, and believe is very powerful.

Between the promise and the payoff is the process, and the process is the point.

Starting strong with a promise (or hope) of what will be is exciting. The payoff (the goal being met) is equally exciting. But don’t skip out on the process, because the process is the point. The process is the key to change. Don’t dodge it. The middle matters. It will be difficult, but what will it cost you if you don’t work the process? What could you gain if you harness your focus and energy, and place it smack dab on the process?

“You don’t really walk before you run, do you?”

I looked at my life over the past few years, and I said, “No, I don’t. I jump into with everything I have.” So if you’re like me, and you like to jump all in, then you might get the same results that I got. The problem was that my goals were based on passion instead of a sustainable process. When my passion for my goal ran dry, I would stop. So I started many things, but finished very few things with excellence.

Recently, I am using minor shifts to make major change. Right now, my goal is on my own health, and treating my body with love and respect. I want to be around for a long time, and I want to serve Jesus effectively throughout my life. My spirit is not disconnected from my body. God even calls my body His temple. Which means that I should probably honor the dwelling place of the Lord. I want to take care of what God has given me. So here are some minor shifts I have installed to create major change.

1. I drink water. Instead of pop, it is simple H20 Every once in a while, I’ll have a lemonade. Most days though, all day it is water. I drink a lot of water, and my body is beginning to crave it. (Since I used to not be a big fan of drinking water, I’m still surprised by this.)

2. I adhere to the Ryan Reynolds diet. I eat six meals a day on this instead of three. My six are healthier than my three were. I have more energy to workout because of how I eat. I will be on this diet for at least the first six weeks. Quite possibly even longer than this.

3. I share where I’m at with my success group. There are support groups and then there are success groups. A support group allows you to share your problems with little to no feedback at all. My success group will challenge me and call me out if I’m not living out what I said I wanted to live out. I love this!

4. I celebrate that I’m doing hard work. Sometimes, after a hard run in the gym, I pat myself on the back. Sometimes I put on some loud music later and dance to it. Sometimes, I share with a friend. Often, I thank God for giving me strength in my workouts.

My minor shifts are creating major change. I feel 30x better than I did December 31st when I gave up pop for water. I feel 100x better on this diet. And I am enjoying life a lot more now that I am enjoying the passion given to me from working out, and the fact that I am loving my God and myself enough to do something different.

If you feel stuck, check out this site on creating goals. Then, challenge yourself to create some minor shifts that will cause major change.

“I want to lose weight.”

“Ok, but Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

“I want to be a daily Bible reader.”

“Great, but ya know, Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

“I want to start sharing the gospel with people, and see many people come to know Jesus.”

“That’s good, but remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day.”

I got the message loud and clear. Rome wasn’t built in a day. It took a while. But, I had this thought the other day. I know how Rome was built. I’m no historian, but I figured it out. This is how Rome was built.

Someone created a vision and did something about it.

Rome was built because the builders of the empire didn’t make talk about doing something. They just did it. There will always be many reasons why you don’t get what you want, why you don’t enjoy life as much as you would like, or why you are stuck in mediocrity. I believe that there is one thing that holds you back more than anything else. And that one thing needs to be dealt with or you will find yourself creating a deeper rut for yourself as time goes on.

Stop making excuses.

I know all about excuses. I had excuses for “Why I didn’t lose weight when I started a workout endeavor” or “Why living a pure life was too difficult in a sex-saturated culture” or “Why I was entitled to the bitterness that I felt in my heart.”

All I was doing was making excuses. So, I was never building anything sustainable. By the grace of God today, I believe I am building a life worth living. I am building because I stopped making excuses, faced the music, and did something about it. Don’t you think that it makes sense to do that when you see how much God has done for you? Making excuses is a great way to stay in the pit, living isolated, angry, frustrated, addicted, and wasting your life because you won’t deal with reality. So do something today. Do something different. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but the project started at one point. It was propelled because of focus, hard work, and the dream of what it could be.

What could your life be if you decided to do something different? What excuses are you holding on to? How good will it feel to cast off every excuse, and start building something that counts? No more excuses? Who’s in??

“Savior, He can move the mountains, my God is mighty to save,                           He is mighty to save.”

These words kept flowing into my soul, and then I would fall asleep again. Early Monday morning, I realized I settled. As I was laying there in my bed, I knew that I had settled. My God is mighty to save, and He can move mountains.

So why wasn’t I asking God to move mountains? Why wasn’t I asking God to do the impossible? I used to all the time. What happened?

Over time, I got caught up managing my life and my ministry, without asking God to do the miraculous. Now, I’m not saying that management and miracles are mutually exclusive. I believe 100 % in being faithful to what God has given you. I really believe that is key to living for God.

I want to be faithful and full of faith.

If you’re not asking God to move a mountain, then maybe you’ve given up on your request because you didn’t get what you wanted. Maybe you’ve gotten caught up in your own reflection in the mirror, and you are primarily preoccupied with yourself. Maybe you feel overwhelmed by the mountains in your life. If it was one, that would be understandable, but you may feel surrounded by mountains. So here is part of following Jesus. Believing Him. Believing in Him. Believing on Him. FAITH! If you’re feeling dry, go to the fountain and let Him fill you. If you’re feeling weary, ask Him to lift your burden. If you have a mountain that needs to be moved, ask Him to move it.

“Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move.                          Nothing will be impossible for you.” – Jesus in Matthew 17:20-21

Faith is a gift from God, so use the gift He has given you. Dare to ask God for the impossible. Isn’t it time to be filled with possibilities? Isn’t it time to ask God to do the greatest things to date in your life?  God is not finished with you. Step into the gift of faith that God has given you. Here is a prayer that helps me.

“God, give me the faith to ask you what I need to ask you for. Seal my heart in faith. I believe you can God, I believe you will. God will you __________?” Pray it with audacity. With courage. With faith. God wants to hear from you about the mountains that He can move. And it will all be for His glory.