TRUTH: Nobody really treats me like a rock star.
But, sometimes, I have been treated like I’m more than human. I guess it is the title “College Minister” tha Something I’ve noticed over this break though is that when I’m home, I’m not “David Skidmore, College Minister.” I’m David Skidmore, son to Kevin and Jan and sister to Jessica and Tricia.
I’ve been the youngest all my life. Guess what’s happened over this break? I’ve been treated like I’m the youngest. Don’t think they treat me like I’m a little kid. I’m treated like a 23 year old, but I’m still treated as the youngest. Nobody here thinks anything “special” about me. To be really honest, it’s been humbling. At times frustrating.
I’ve been learning some important lessons at home.
One lesson is that a lot of times, leaders can be treated like rock stars. I know this because I treat some like they are. They are huge inspirations to me. Every once in a while, I get treated almost like that. Kinda weird to me.
What I’ve found is that I am quickly craving the attention and affirmation I receive from people who respond to my leadership.
Craving the attention and affirmation of others is a dangerous root that will cause HUGE problems later on if it is not UPROOTED in my life.
My family over Christmas doesn’t treat me like anything extra special. The family that I start someday isn’t likely to treat me like anything special. Later on in life, I’ll just be a husband or “Dad”. One of the questions I’ll face then will be, “Where will I spend my time? With those who must receive the attention and affirmation I give to them, or with those who I receive attention and affirmation from?”
Maybe leaders should start attending AA (Attention/Affirmation) meetings. I’m sure this takes an incredible amount of humility and a great sense of one’s own humanity to understand how vital it is to spend time with my family as opposed to those who simply make me feel better about myself.
Some questions that are helping me wrestle with this concept of leading like a rockstar or leading like Jesus are…
1) How do I define success? Do I define success by what others say about me, or what God says about me?
2) Where is my greatest commitment? I can always find another group. I can’t get another family.
3) How is my interaction with my family? Am I bringing the energy to them that I bring to the people I lead? (This is a tough thing, but ask your family what they think about the love and energy you’re giving them. Do they feel as if they are your priority?)
4. Not a question. A quote: “Success to me is having the people who know me the best, both love and respect me the most.” John C. Maxwell
I challenge you if you find yourself at any level of leadership to ask these questions, and to ask them more often as God elevates your leadership level.