I found recently that my hands are full, and they aren’t getting any emptier. I try and spin plates. I’m here and there, and feeling like I’m everywhere but getting nowhere. So I found myself drained. Not physically. I can go workout. I can stay up late and wake early if I have to. I found myself drained emotionally and spiritually. So what did I do to combat that? I got myself busier. Why? Because when I actually slowed down, when I finally stopped I felt hollow.
I had to look inside of me, and there wasn’t a whole lot of rest inside of me. There were a lot of questions. There still are. There is angst. There is worry.
But the plates are spinning…so you keep ’em going.
There’s a big danger in this. It is that while trying to help make sure that other people are living that you’re not alive yourself. You’re not resting. You’re not re-creating by recreation on the weekend. You’re just going. So you’re trying to help other people live, but you’re not really alive. You’re empty. Hollow. Dead man walking with not a lot of life happening inside of you.
I’m saying something that is really important for you. You need to stop. You need to stop. You need to slow down. You need to stop spinning some of those plates because they aren’t that important anyway.
You probably think this is for someone else. It isn’t. See yourself again. Look in the mirror. No, look in the mirror. See what God has created. It is good. Let your mind wander into questions of yourself. Take sometime for yourself.
The mission of my church is “we exist to make disciples.” Ya know what the key word is in there?
exist. And when you see to exist you may find that you exit any form of what we call life so quickly.
Slow down. Dive into the pool and swim. Call an old friend that you know you need to talk to. Lay down on the couch and stare at the ceiling.
Turn your phone off. Stop living for everyone else for a moment so that you can actually live. When those questions beckon you, when they call at you, let them come at you full force. Yeah, the ones you’ve been avoiding. Let them hit you square between the eyes. Let yourself laugh. Let yourself cry. Let yourself exist within what you know you need to face.
Log off this note, log off this blog, log off of your computer. Put it away. Feel the grass between your toes again. Feel the dirt that you came from. You are alive, and the LORD is with you. The LORD is near you.
Listen to him. Listen. Listen.
Are you listening?
thanks to Marcus Neely for inspiring this blog with one of his dramas I was blessed to play in me. now the lines are with me.