Destiny and Relationships

December 29, 2010 — 1 Comment

As I begin to write today, I will say that I feel a bit unqualified to write in this area. I am not going to write out of any statistics I studied, or data that I researched. I am just going to write from a hunch. So here goes…

The word I would like to explore is “destiny”. This has been a strange word for me to deal with since I heard Darth Vader say, “Luke, it is your destiny.” What does that even mean? To me, it always meant that you were meant for this thing. That your destiny was the life planned out for you, and now you just needed to walk into your destiny.

Now, one thing I’ve learned about people I meet is that dreams of a good future are harbored in the souls of man and woman. Whether or not they actually believe those dreams will come true, somewhere deep down, they want them to.

They dream that their dreams would become their destiny.

Rarely does their future align with their dreams.

We have difficulty in walking into the future we so desperately desire. Perhaps this is one of the greatest tragedies of humanity. Man rarely becomes what he wants to become. Why?

You become what you behold. (I heard this line from Steven Furtick.)

I know a lot of great guys who have a lot of great dreams, but their dreams aren’t taking them anywhere right now. Why? As big as their dreams are, they struggle with something bigger. They believe they will repeat the cycle that their family or lack of a family had. The way some have talked is almost as if it is destiny that is leading them to continue down this road.

There are plenty of great girls I know who want to have a great relationship. They want to be loved. They are kind, caring, and sweet…and will do almost anything, sometimes anything for love. Or they may even have a strong anchor, and they may be at peace…yet they believe deep down that what happened to their mom will happen to them. Loneliness. Fighting. Abuse. Abandonment. Their heart hopes for the best, but their mind whispers negative thoughts.

These fears stay with people when they are not addressed. At some point, fears are made manifest. And so the fights begin. And so the cycle repeats itself. And so the pattern continues. And so the tendency to become what you beheld is now more than a tendency. It is becoming a reality.

And so your destiny became the very thing you did not want it to be. From this, fighting, abuse, cheating, and eventually abandonment come into our lives. The dream of your dreams becoming your destiny falls apart,

because your destination is your destiny.

I’ve mentioned before the Principle of the Path but I believe this is so true.

Your Direction, not Your Intention, Determines Your Destination.

Maybe the best way to define destiny is the place you choose to go. (I know that takes some of the mystical out of it. And I’m not trying to shut the Holy Spirit out of this post. I just believe we have a choice.)

If destiny is the place you choose to go, that gives us good news and bad news. First, the bad news. We often go in the pattern we’ve seen our entire lives. Now, the good news. We don’t have to become the pattern we beheld.

It will be hard work to continually change. But I believe the change is worth it. Become the dreams you dream will be your destiny.

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One response to Destiny and Relationships

  1. 

    Who said you are not qualified to talk about destiny and relationship, you said it very well. Destiny and relationship are two big subjects to even make sense out of it. I can feel it, especially the consequence of it, but I could never talk about it. It is a shadow following us. We still have choice, we still need strong faith to carry on, to embrace changes and to renovate ourselves.

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