Fear is not King

What we want the most is usually surrounded by a layer of fear. We know the importance of what we really want so we often opt out of attempts to have it because we believe we are unworthy or unable to have what it is we truly want. Slight fear gives us respect. This is healthy.  But when given room, the healthy turns into complete fear which works as a restraint, like a leash to your soul.

The problem is that what we want consumes our thoughts to the point that we think we are not capable of having the what. Whatever the what is, we are consumed with not having the what.

So we begin to look into how we can get what we want. We begin to explore all the ways we can get the what. Because what we don’t have consumes us, our minds continually race with how to get what it is we truly want. The problem is that how continually changes. Because creation and the created order is not static. The constant is that for a future to exist, change must occur. Thus, the form i.e. the how of things shifts. How is fluid. How is creative. How is not what drives us forward. How is not constant. The question arises, then what is the constant? Notice, the question is not, is the what the constant? Rather, it is simply, what is the constant?

The constant is where we usually do not go. After all, the constant is very involved. And the constant is the thing that if we grasped, we would find greater success in our lives. The constant is not what or how although these are the two dwelling places in which humanity most often abides. The constant is difficult to live in because it does require laser concentration, and it in and of itself is the greatest question one can face in determining how to go after what it is we want.

Without the constant, the what will be neutered and the how will feel sterile to our souls. So what is the constant? One word.

Why? Without the why, we are drifting aimlessly through these days with no idea where we are going. Without the why, love is empty, vision is blind, and hope is but a castaway at sea. (dc Talk line there.) Why is what it is all about. And without a clear why, people fall in love with the how, and make the how into what “they are really all about.”

When the why vanishes, the how is glorified, and the what is only a manifestation of what the how presently controls. Thus, fear becomes king once again.

The problem was that fear was given in order that we might respect that which stands against us, not that we would be restrained from taking action. So it is probably a good time to sit down with pencil and paper that we may sharpen our minds, so that the why will become crystal clear so that we can create a how at this time to achieve what it is we really want.

I would like to give a shout out to my friend Ryan Groves. I believe I took some of these ideas from him at this past year’s i AM NOW Conference. He had a board with three circles. Why, what, and how. I didn’t get to hear the talk, but this is what I took away from those circles. (Ryan, if this disagrees with your talk or you’re not really into this, we can pretend that you had nothing to do with it. 🙂 )


2 thoughts on “Fear is not King

  1. Dave, I really appreciated what you had to say and the depth of your thoughts. I agree that “how” is constantly fluid without direction and that is what causes and creates fear. Without a constant goal in mind or a reason to reach something, fear will cloud our mind and drive us far from our goal. It’s hard to navigate fear without a compass. Thanks for your thoughts! As always, they are appreciated.

  2. I had never really thought about this before, but there are some deep truths in this post. I have seen many people drift and worry their way through life, never being able to get to where they really wanted to be. Now I see that in many cases, they were obsessed with the HOW and not really focused on the destination. In hindsight, I can see that focusing on the WHAT (destination) and not worrying about the HOW is exactly how I managed to finish grad school. The HOW changed every week, but I always knew that I was going to graduate and I was going to keep working every day at it until I finished. Good post Dave. Always nice to be able to learn something new about myself.


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