I am sitting in my van as I write this at a Bank of America. The teller’s computer froze up. She told me that’s why I was waiting for the transaction. Today is a laid back Saturday, so I smiled and said, “No worries. I understand.”
What bothers me about myself is that I have had other times at the Bank when something like that happened (teller’s computer froze up, teller got confused on 3rd day of job, teller’s microphone went on and off at the wrong times), and I was terse at best and at worst a jerk. I hate saying it, but this is true.
So what is the deal? Are my gentleness, patience, and self control just circumstantial manifestations of the good parts of my heart? Or does it go deeper?
Is there something that is wrong with this altogether? Maybe it is the fact that although I have had the Holy Spirit for ten years, I do not ask Holy Spirit to produce fruit in my life. Because my gentleness, patience and self control done by my own willpower is rarely good. Often it is faked till I leave a situation, person, or bank line. Then I can stew on the problem and complain about it.
What is true patience?
True self control?
I don’t believe it comes from any of us. The true virtue come from transformation of a new heart as the Spirit changes us.
Prayer: Holy Spirit, please produce your fruit in my life. I cannot do this on my own. Thank you. Amen.