When Honest Isn’t Real

I believe this statement is true: “I cannot change or heal what I do not acknowledge.” However, I have noticed over time a trend in society. We want to be real. We want to be authentic. We want people to see us for who we are. So we share information about ourselves. We tell people what we’re struggling with. We share with each other.

But just because you share doesn’t mean you want to change.

Your honesty may be real.

Or you may not really be honest with yourself in your honesty.

What’s real is wanting something. What’s real is admitting that you desire more. What’s real is being real about why you did what you did not want to do. What’s real is being honest about the honest truth. And honestly, that’s something that is completely uncomfortable for almost all of us.

It is difficult to share our honesty. It is even more difficult to be real in your honesty.

For instance, a man who hit his wife can be very honest about the fact that he did this. What he may say is that he hates himself for doing it. He can’t stand that he hit her, and he can’t forgive himself for it. The difficult truth to share is what he got out of that moment with her. That he actually for a moment felt strong when he hit her. Then he was riddled with guilt. If he can actually go into the pain and deal with what was going on, he could be real about his honesty. He then could be real enough to change it.

I believe that we get something out of everything we do. If we didn’t, we wouldn’t do it. So when you do something that you wish you wouldn’t have done, then you can talk about how you hate what you did. But really, you didn’t hate it the whole time. For at least a moment, you got something out of it. Now, you may have in that moment hated that you were getting some type of enjoyment from it, but we won’t do something if we don’t get something out of it, even for a moment.

It is really ugly to say the things you don’t want to say. I like ___________. When you don’t want to like it. But when you’re real enough to talk about your honest truth, then you can heal from it.

What I’m finding out about myself is that the more that I am real with my honesty, the more I can acknowledge what I got out of what I wish I wouldn’t have done, the more I can see it for what it is. If I pretend that I am better than that mistake, then I am not being real about my honest sharing. In fact, I am dishonest with myself while sharing the honest truth about what happened.

This life is a process. Stay real with yourself. Be real in your honesty. An honest, real life is able to heal, and eventually truly experience faith and love. Until you are real and honest, hold on to hope that one day you will be. And that one day you will experience real faith and real love.

Honestly, it’s good to be real.

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