I Felt Selfish For Asking

I used to think I was selfish for asking God to bless me. It just didn’t seem right to me. God has His hands full with the universe, and I’m asking for Him to go beyond just loving me. I wanted him to bless me. Within this idea of blessing was the hope that God would make my life better than it was. This all didn’t seem like it was a fair thing to ask seeing as I have more than most people living in the world. Considering the fact that I have a car, a house, my family is intact, my friends care about me, and I have some money in savings, it just seemed outlandish that I ask God to bless me.

Last Wednesday, I drove my grandparents to Colorado. We had never been on a road trip where it was just the three of us, and we had a blast together.

A few nights ago at my family reunion, my Grandpa shared something with me that was key for me to hear. He gave me a compliment that filled my heart with confidence. It was out of nowhere, and his words hit me like an avalanche of kindness. A simple sentence, but these are words I will carry in my heart for a long time to come.

I forgot to say that Grandma and Grandpa paid for the family reunion lodging for everyone. The whole reunion thing was their idea over thirty years ago. These reunions have been going on since before I was born, and they are one of the best times of the year. Grandpa is the leader of the family reunion. He leads us closer to Jesus in conversations, and he leads us towards having fun playing games. He has led us for years in playing sports, and having incredible competitions in the mountains. Grandpa loves every person in our family, and knows each person in a unique way. If you’re new to the family, Grandpa wants to get to know you. He’s approaching his 90th birthday now, but he doesn’t seem to slow down too much with all the teaching he does.

Here’s the thing, when Grandpa spoke those words to me, there was no way on earth he would have wanted me to put a wall around my heart, and block those words out. Even though he has given me more than I can imagine, Grandpa wanted to share something special with me. So he shared his heart. He shared words that would be significant in my life. Why? Because he loves me. The more he encourages me, the better I will be in encouraging others. The more he blesses me, the more I will bless others.

For a long time, I was really confused about God blessing me, because it seemed like I had so much more than anyone else. Yes, I am blessed with materialistic gain. However, that blessing can become a curse if you fall in love with the blessing instead of the blesser. God has another blessing for us. A blessing He wants to shout from a mountaintop, and whisper into our souls. God has a blessing for us today. We can put a wall around our heart while saying we have enough, too much already, but God wants to keep pouring love into us. Then His love will pour through us.

You might be beating yourself up with the sticks of shame and condemnation. You might rewind to your past over and over, and pretend you are defined by what you did. Maybe you keep yourself busy non-stop so you don’t have to listen to any words, even if they are good, because you don’t like who you are when things slow down.

God has a blessing for you. It’s the first thing He did when He created us.

“So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them. God blessed them…” Genesis 1:26-27.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.” Ephesians 1:3.

God has a blessing for you. Are you listening? What do you need to hear from Him today?

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2 comments

  1. clay · August 8, 2012

    This a good one Skidmore.

  2. Rachel · August 8, 2012

    I want to know what your grandpa said to you, but it’s cool! I’m glad your heart was open to accepting the compliment!

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