I hate feeling weak. I hate appearing weak. I like to be strong. Over the past four months, God has been working on some specific things in my life. One of the things God has been working on the most with me is becoming more comfortable with being myself in the highs and lows of life. Everyone has high points and low points. My challenge was letting myself feel okay with expressing where I’m at with people.
You see, I latched on to a complex of perfectionism. Some people want their work to be perfect. I wanted to look perfect. Like I have everything together. What is interesting is that trying to look perfect or sound perfect keeps you from being someone that people can really get to know. I think most people who have the “perfectionistic complex” have a few people they are real with, but they don’t feel like they can share with everyone. This perfectionistic complex is really just insecurity covered in arrogance. It is rooted in fear that you won’t be good enough of people know the real you.
Back to the main point. I hate feeling weak, but I’ve started to enjoy being real. And I’m finding out that what I thought was weak isn’t as weak as I thought. It is actually normal. It makes me a normal person. I believe people enjoy being around me more than they have in the past, because I’m a lot more real about where I’m at in life.
When you let go of the walls and guards you may have up, it really frees your heart up to love people the way you want to. Not only that, it frees you up to accept God for who He is instead of trying to put yourself in His position in life. This also allows you to draw from real strength, God’s strength.
Psalm 1 talks about a certain kind of strength. The strength that happens when you choose to delight in the Lord, and meditated on His law day and night. You are like a tree planted by streams of water. You are immovable. You have everything you need. You are alive. You create shade for others. You are a sign and symbol of strength. You are real.
When you lose your mask, it frees you up to live in God’s strength. And you will enjoy life a lot more.