What Do You Do With Loss (Pt 1)

The problem with losing someone you love is felt especially when they have a lot of stability in your life. It’s like a chair with four legs, and suddenly one of the legs just got broken off. Anytime you try to sit down, you discover again the chair does not hold you up. The balance is off. Something isn’t right when you sit down.

There are different degrees of loss, but you know what this feeling is like if you’ve lost anyone or anything you have ever loved. All you can do is stare up into the cosmos. As billions of stars look down at you from all those light years away, you realize you don’t have any more answers than you did before.

What is there to do but look up at the cosmos As Billions Of stars stare down at you from all those light years away you realize you dont have any more answers than you did before.

I heard someone say, “Lean into the pain.” Forget that. I don’t want to lean into pain. If I lean into this, I know what it feels like, so I’d rather not even mention it, rather not bring it up. I used to not understand what it was like for people to lose somebody they lost, because I thought I could help them make sense of it through concepts and ideas. There’s no concept that does anything to fill the hole inside of you when somebody you love is gone.

*          *          *

The crazy thing about death is that somebody could die in a moment, or they could die over a long period of time. But when they die, they’re dead all at once. Suddenly, they’re gone. You look down at the body that once held them, and they’re not there.

Some people say when you die, you don’t go anywhere. I disagree because when I saw death, this is going to sound weird, but it wasn’t the person that died. I mean, it was the person, at least in a sense. Really though, it was the body that died. The body stopped inhaling and exhaling. All at once, this question rushed into my heart. “Where did she go?” The conversations, the energy, the life force, the soul that I knew? Where does the soul go? Where does this life force end up? Where does this energy, this person you once talked to, where do they go?

If you could point me to the door they stand behind, I’ll throw that door open in a moment. But that door has a padlock on it from this side of humanity. There’s only one way to the other side of that door. You don’t get to the immaterial through material. You can’t.

You can read Part 2 of “What Do You Do With Loss?” here.

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “What Do You Do With Loss (Pt 1)

  1. My grandfather gave me stability like no one else could when I was in high school. To this day, I can’t think/talk about him without noticing the fourth leg of my stool is broken and I can’t sit down. The Lord knows my needs
    and my heart, so instead of leaving into the pain, the void that appears when someone leaves, I lean into The Lord. Phil 4:6 NIV – “6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” I’m looking forward to reading part 2.

  2. This is amazing! It is so good. I cannot really imagine what you are going through. My dad passed away 7 1/2 yrs ago. I was not there, and I did not go through the same thing my oldest brother went through. I really sense that he felt the same things you are feeling. My dad was everything to him. He was his life because he had taken care of him for so many years. I am eagerly waiting for the next part. I truly believe the Spirit is guiding you and this is going to be a blessing to many.

  3. You have captured loss and grief in that short piece. I am so thankful and also proud of what you have become. The little boy who hated to write is now able to convey so much emotion in very few words. Davey this blog moved me to tears, but it also comforted me in knowing someone else understands, yes that is exactly what it is like. Thank you.

Comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s