Have you ever been to a Lost and Found at a gym, hotel, or event center? I think they could rename it Lost and Forever Lost. I haven’t found anything I’ve lost at the Lost and Found desk since I was 6. That was the time we got an hour down the road, and I realized my dear old compadre, Buddy Bear was no longer with me. When we got home 8 hours later, my mom called the Super 8 Motel in Hays, Kansas to see if housekeeping had found Buddy Bear. Sure enough, they found Buddy Bear relaxing in our hotel room, and had been waiting for our call. They put Buddy Bear into a cardboard box and shipped him to our house on Alhambra so I was able to sleep with my stuffed animal again. More importantly, I was able to sleep at all. It’s a scary world when you’re 6 and Buddy Bear has gone missing.
Sometimes, I think there are some tiny trolls or angry house elves who apparate into muggle homes to take things. Seriously, how did I lose all of these socks over the years? I don’t know how I constantly lose one sock but keep the other. Where do my socks go? I used to think it was the Universe’s magic trick it was playing on me, and the socks were getting thrown through a black hole into another dimension where I couldn’t find them, like Matthew McConnaughey in Interstellar.
Back to Buddy Bear and the Lost and Found. I’m pretty sure that was the last time I found something at the Lost and Found. I’m not sure who gets to work at the Lost and Found desk, but I have wondered if local pawn shops are cutting them checks under the table to give them the contents of the Lost and Found. Have you ever found anything at the Lost and Found? I wouldn’t expect to find something you lost at the Lost and Found desk again.
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When you lose something, it doesn’t come back. That’s why they call it a loss. Because it isn’t yours anymore. It’s like the Warriors in the 2016 NBA Finals. Everyone knew they were going to win because they had a 3-1 lead, but then they lost to LeBron James and the Cavaliers. The championship that seemed to certainly belong to the Warriors but was snatched from them by LeBron’s block and Kyrie’s shot. The trophy was stolen from their grasp. LeBron went home with a championship and MVP trophy, and the Warriors went home with empty handed.
I don’t know anyone who likes to lose. If you like to lose, I don’t trust you. Also, if you like to lose, I don’t ever want you to be on my team in anything, unless the point of the game is to lose. In this case, the only way we can win is to lose, so I’ll take you on my team, because you love to lose. Then again, if you see that by losing you will win, you will probably win so that you can lose. So maybe I won’t have you on my team. The main point here is, never trust someone who likes to lose.
Some people don’t mind losing a round of dominos, spades, or Yahtzee. They just don’t want to lose in the Profit and Loss statement, or in their financial investments. Some people don’t want to lose time in their day, and they rue any point they’re in traffic. Others don’t want to lose relationships, because they can’t imagine life without those people around.
My friend, Tom was telling me how much he missed some friends he loved. They moved on into new seasons of their lives, and their wires got crossed. Now, they don’t really talk anymore. He was in a bad place, so after listening a while, I drove us to the 7-11, and I bought him a gift. Apparently, he doesn’t drink Coca-Cola, so I drank it. There was a lot of sugar in the Coke. After I was done drinking it, I just felt heavy, not happy. So much for a Coke making my soul happy.
Losing is hard. What is really difficult is when you lose something or someone you can’t get back and you can’t replace them. The more you love someone, the more difficult it is to move on when they are lost. I heard someone say, “When a person moves into your life, they take up a certain space. When they’re gone, that space is an enormous, unfilled void.” That’s what this is about. What do you do with loss? How do you continue when there’s a chasm on the inside? I’ll share a few of my thoughts about continuing forward as we wrap this up in Part 5 of “What Do You Do With Loss?”
You can read Part 5 of “What Do You Do With Loss?” here.